So It Goes
by WOFWalker
Summary: Kindergarten AU. Cross Marian didn't ask for this kindergarten bullshit.


**For yluminary**

 **Thank you Baka-Bird for beta-ing this!**

* * *

Cross closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly released the air. He reopened his eyes and surveyed the scene before him.

The brats were screaming and running around him as they each carried their own choice of weapon.

One of Tiedoll's brats, a scrappy kid by the name of - Daiso? Daisy? Daisoro? - kicked a lattice ball as hard as he could with his puny legs. Cross watched as it sailed across the classroom, jingling merrily, and knock the papers out from the desk in its speedy descent.

Another brat of Tiedoll's, Chowder, or something like that, was punching a stuffed bear. He had successfully reached the bear's innards, the mass of the bear's stuffing surrounded him.

Cross questions the kid's future in surgery or just plain butchery.

Lvellie's group of methodical monsters were pasting yellow paper strips on every surface available, making the place looked like a fucked up shrine.

Klaud's kid, Timothy, had a white sheet draped over his scrawny frame looking like a half assed ghost on as well a pair of roller skates, which he proceeded to use as a means to speed around the room, scaring the shit out of unsuspecting bystanders.

The room itself was a huge mess, comparable to the aftermath of a tornado tearing through. Not only were there those creepy yellow sticky notes lining the walls, books were also strewn across the floor, colorful paint decorated the walls where those Lvellie brats failed to reach, and... _wait_. _Was that a fucking rubber duck?_

Cross blinked.

 _Yes, that was indeed a sickeningly bright and absurdly cheerful rubber duck_ _being swung around in the air by the string tied to the ceiling fan._ How the little monsters even managed to get it up there will remain a mystery to Cross.

Cross pinched the bridge of his nose; he can feel a pounding headache coming on, which signaled that it was time for another dose of aspirin. Damn Komui, for being able to persuade him to substitute for a sick Tiedoll's kindergarten class of Black Order Elementary in exchange of buying expensive drinks for Cross.

A loud shout came from one end of the room. Another one of Tiedoll's many brats, a hot-tempered menace named Kanda, was holding a blue bubble sword wand like some sort of fucking katana, jabbing it at a small redhead next to him, the Bookman's brat, Lavi, with vicious intent.

"Mugen, hatsudo!"

For some damn reason that Cross doesn't know, the little Japanese brat decided to name his beloved bubble wand "Mugen". The term "hatsudo" was new, though, whatever the hell that means.

Lavi was wearing an eyepatch over his right eye, although the eye was perfectly capable of seeing. Lavi believed it to "be cool and awesome in battle". Cross quite firmly believed that it only made him look like some sort of pirate wannabe.

Right now, the eyepatch was proving to be a disadvantage in the battle between brats.

Lavi was still impressively holding on his own; his giant inflatable hammer that practically dwarfed the kid was successfully blocking Kanda's relentless attack. An insufferable squeak was heard every time Kanda whacked the inflatable hammer in hopes of getting past the redhead's guard.

Cross's trained eyes could can still see that Lavi was becoming progressively more exhausted as the skirmish continued on. However, Lavi still wore an outrageously silly smile as he replied to Kanda's shout.

"Do you mean 'Mugen, _hatsusoap_ ', Yu?~" Lavi teased.

Cross had to give the brat some major props for relentlessly provoking the angry scamp that was trying to stab out his only visible eye.

However, that kid was really asking to get his tiny ass kicked to the curb.

Kanda growled like a tiger that had its tail stomped on as he continued to violently strike at the poor Bookman brat. The redhead tried to hit back as well, but every time he tried to hit, the hammer would also hit Lavi back, smacking him straight in the face, especially when he tried to hit harder with each passing swing.

Sadistically amused as he was with the free show, Cross decided that he should probably break up the ongoing spat before it got serious enough for Bookman to come after him with his pointy acupuncture needles aimed below the belt for daring to allow his grandson to get caught up in something so trivial, or god forbid, Tiedoll smashing his head in with a canvas should Kanda end up with anything resembling a paper cut. But before Cross could take a step forward, another brat decided to intervene.

And said bratling happened to be Cross's so-called godson, Allen Walker.

Allen had a silver mask donned over his face as well as a white fluffy cape that nearly swallowed him whole, resembling a fancy circus clown which hardly surprised Cross considering how he KNEW Mana's fondness of such things had spread to his adoptive son in recent months.

The tiny clown child bravely stepped between the two fighting kids.

"You shouldn't fight, Kanda. Lavi will always be like that," Allen scolded the older dark haired child firmly.

Kanda attempted to move around past the younger boy, but the cloak had already swathed around their ankles nearly making Kanda trip over as he tried to take another jab at Lavi..

"Move out the way, bean," Kanda growled in irritated petulance.

Allen glared at Kanda unimpressed. "I'm not a bean."

Kanda sneered. "Really? You could've fooled me."

"Pretty sure anyone can fool you, Jerkanda!"

With his anger towards Lavi suddenly forgotten, Kanda raised his bubble wand and swung it down, aiming straight for Allen's head.

Just as quickly, Allen whipped out his left hand in front of him, and, _holy shit, how did the kid even manage to bring wolverine claws to school?_

The plastic wand clashed against the plastic claws, and the tiny opponents glared at each other, battling for dominance.

However, before any of them could make another move, a high-pitched voice called out.

"WATCH OUUUTTTTT!"

Cross cringed as Komui's younger sister, Lenalee, zoomed by in her heelies and collided painfully against the dueling two menaces. All three squawked as they tumbled down, right onto the poor Bookman's grandchild. Luckily, the inflatable hammer went down first, so Lavi had a cushion to land on before being crushed by the weight of three children on top of him.

All four groaned out their agony.

With all four temporarily incapacitated, Edgar's kid, Alma, decided to waddle up to them and poke each of them with the baton before he began skipping around the fallen four and spreading lotus blossoms from god knows where all over them.

That cinched it. Cross was going to make Komui's wallet run dry so he could drown himself in some sweet liquor once this day was finished.


End file.
